Tattoo
Can a mother have no compassion on the child she has borne? This is not a rhetorical question. The answer is resoundingly, yes, a mother can be compassion-less! Perhaps you can say like my friend who jokes, “I’ve often seen the palm of her hand on the wrong side of my anatomy.”
But it gets more serious than this. Why do we search the card aisle for a Mother’s Day or Father’s Day card that doesn’t go over the top? Why do we spend the better part of an hour looking for a card with just the right touch…one that honors but doesn’t deny the layered relationship we have with our parents?
Well, it’s complicated.
Yes, families are complicated. No family is ideal. Some are further from the ideal than others. And if you are reading this and have a less-than-best dynamic between you and one of your parents, please know that you’re not alone. Your Mother’s Day could be tainted by memories you’d rather forget… memories of yelling, of insults, of shaming…or worse.
What are you supposed to do when the rest of the world seems to have the perfect Mom, or at least a mother who lived out 75% of the ideal? And you? Well, maybe you’re like the friend who long ago confided, “There was abuse in my family, but it wasn’t by the parent you would usually expect.”
God loves you so much that he has tattooed you on the palms of his hands!
It’s okay to grieve. Maybe that’s what you need to do. Cry a little; cry a lot! Put brush on ink and paint your feelings, or take pen in hand. Stop pushing them down. Find a Netflix movie that is bound to make you cry and let go!
That’s one way to cope.
I recently was surprised at the intensity of my emotions when thinking about an incident that happened five years ago. I really thought the hurt was dead and buried…that I had processed it and moved on. But no, my tearful eyes and heavy heart told me it wasn’t as “processed” as I had thought.
Luckily, because time had transpired and my emotions had cooled down, I was able to actually approach one of the individual’s involved in the hurt and explain a little better what transpired within my head back then. I feel better, lighter for having done so. Maybe this is a second way to cope.
That may not be best in every situation, but I can tell you there is one person with whom it’s safe to bare all. Our Heavenly Father is fully aware that human families sometimes don’t live up to the name.
Our Heavenly Father is fully aware that human families sometimes don’t live up to the name.
In writing about children who act out, one Christian author writes, “Many parents do not understand how much they are responsible for these traits in their children.”1 Another source says, “Jesus’…heart goes out to children who have inherited troubling character traits and personalities. Many parents don’t have the tenderness and wisdom to help solve the problems they themselves have created. But Jesus watches over these children with sympathy and understanding.”2 “He traces from cause to effect.”3
Your family of origin has shaped you. It can’t help but have influenced you. If what shaped you was faulty, take heart in these words, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.” Isaiah 49: 15-16
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.” Isaiah 49: 15-16
God loves you so much that he has tattooed you on the palms of his hands! And He wants to take those palms and gently caress your face and let you know how much He loves you.
Desire of Ages, by E. G. White p. 517
Messiah by Jerry D. Thomas p. 286
The Desire of Ages by E. G. White p. 517