Almost Didn't

I almost didn’t.  I almost didn’t come to church today.  The week had been full, including a 400 mile drive back from helping my mother move.  Although she only moved across town, she was selling her home of 50 years.  I was exhausted on many fronts: physically, emotionally, interpersonally. I wondered how well I had actually served my mother. I stepped back into my work life, where things hit me full force. I just needed a day NOT to drive, a day to recoup.  So I almost didn’t undertake the 30 minute drive to get there.

But something gnawed at me inside. “Go,” this inner voice said, “Don’t sit home and veg.  Don’t spend time ruminating.  Being with friends can refresh you just as much as an extra hour in bed.  The Word of God can refresh you as well.”  So I pulled on some clothes and arrived while the service was already in full swing.  But quickly I realized coming had been the right decision. I did not regret the drive.

I didn’t regret it because I received just what I needed.  The message was tailor-made for me this day. I was reminded that God’s Word is a living, breathing thing that speaks life into the world-weary.  I was reminded not to fear, to put my trust in Him.  I stopped second-guessing the quality of my performance.  I started trusting more that God is a work within me despite the limitations of this sin-tainted world, despite the limitations of my own personality.  God is God, after all, and I can trust Him.

And to think I almost didn’t go.